Welcome to my venting and confession session! Please...come on in, take a seat and get comfy! So I had the flu and strep throat ALL of last week! This week...I have a totally new take on life! I have been so stressed...praying about everything...but still very stressed. I know that by me seeking what the Lord would have me to do that He will be faithful to not lead me in the wrong direction. I also know that He made me to have the heart that worries about family and everyone they come in contact with, a lady that wants to always have a spotless home in case visitors come by, He wants me to raise children that fear the Lord and call their momma blessed! And for this reason...I worry. I even worry about how I don't need to worry. I do feel that when God created woman, that He knew we were special and that we would HAVE to put Him first in our lives to ever survive this life here on earth. So...as I went on my mini sabbatical...AKA: the flu and strep throat...I prayed and pondered how I can possibly make my life go smoother so that I am not breaking out in sweat at the fear of clothes that need to be washed or floors that need to mopped and no time to complete those tasks. Another prayer that I had was about the future...my career as well as my children's well being. I have been praying about homeschooling my sweet son Mason. He will be entering in to 5-year-old kindergarten in the Fall. I am not really a fan of homeschooling...but I feel that God wants me to be faithful and pray about it...I have been praying for about 7 months now. I have not yet registered Mason for school at the pure fear that I am making the wrong choice by sending him to public school. And of course, I enjoy having a career and providing some jingle in my pocket as well as to our family budget! This prayer has put me in tears...God, am I just being selfish and wanting to keep Mason to myself or are you truly telling me that I must homeschool because I need to protect Mason from something at school? I feel that parents are the foundation provider for their children...I don't feel that Mason's foundation will be nourished in school. So my concern...do I homeschool or do I consider making my work hours very strict to allow me to be a part of Mason's school experience and to look those sweet teachers in the eye and let them know that I am praying for them and that I am holding them accountable for this season of my boy's life. Ok...don't exit my blog...I am not crazy, really...I'm not! It is just something that has been laid on my heart to pray about...remember, I don't want to homeschool, but I know that the Lord wants me to pray about it.
And worry no more...
Praise the Lord!!! The Lord sent me a very sweet friend to be my personal cheerleader...she listened to my concerns and then gave me 1 hour and 30 minutes of her personal therapy and advise. After talking with my friend, I felt a sense of renewal, I felt cleansed, I felt like I am not as crazy as I think I am. I just needed her to remind myself to take a deep breath and to give my worries to the Lord. Everything she said, were things that I already knew and even as I prayed before I spoke to her I could hear God telling me to get more organized. But being the woman that God made me...I had to hear it in person. I know that speaking with her yesterday was a true Divine appointment! The reason I know this? Well, I was on the phone for an hour and a half and my children never bothered our conversation! (enter the Hallelujah Chorus here) I feel that this sweet friend does not want me to give her a national shout out so I will keep her name private. But HC...THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! You are an amazing woman and I can't tell you enough how thankful I am that God allowed our paths to cross.
So...Hi, my name is momma and I have a problem with my organization. My plan? Well, I plan to not let laundry control my life and I plan to spend my time with my children and not think about cleaning in the back of my head and I plan to truly give my worries to Lord and let him help me figure it all out. I will say...I don't think that I was too far gone...I feel that God allowed me to get a little of my schedule to show me that He has given me control over the things and people He has given to me. He knows that I will love them with all my heart and He knows I thankful that I have a floor to mop and clothes to wash...and the messier that those clothes are just means the more fun we had that day. The only catch is that I have put my all trust in the Lord...He has never-ever led me astray and has always been faithful to answer my concerns and to fulfill my heart's desires.
Ok, session OVER! Thanks for listening and thanks even more for prayers that as a fellow momma I will keep my head up and my heart true to what God has in store for me...even if that means a messy house.
Thank you...and good night. Amen!
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